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Monday, January 30, 2006

Tim Kaine's Giving What?

Tim Kaine is VA's newly elected governor and tomorrow night he will offer the democrat response to the President's State of the Union Address. This guy has been in the spotlight for about 10 seconds, and he gets to address the nation. Could it be because he was able to beat his gubernatorial competitor, Jerry Kilgore, who's poor debating style and a few too many negative ads caused him to lose his 15 week lead in the polls? Gee, what a rising star Kaine must be.
Can you imagine their thought process?

The setting: Capitol Hill Democrat Strategy Headquarters. Sitting around a conference room table are the icons of the liberal left.

"Well, the nation's pretty sick of all the Senate Democrats...." says Howard Dean.

"Loser," she thinks before Senator Clinton says, "Hmm...well, I don't want any of my competitors getting the stoplight."

"We need someone to say he's corrupt...and a Nazi," Dick Durbin pipes in.

"Shut up, Dick," Ted Kennedy spouts off. "Where's my...uh, coffee? How about that nice little girl visiting Venezuela? Cynthia...something?"

"I'd love to give the response." says Harry Reid. "I could say something creative like, 'This administration is corrupt--the most corrupt....ever.'"

"I bet you would love to give the response." Senator Clinton says prompting a silent chuckle among the entire group of Democratic leaders.

Senator John Kerry begins to talk. No one's real sure what he said, because they stopped listening about 10 months ago.

"What about that nice young boy from Virginia." Barbara Boxers suggests. "Kennedy something."

"...uh. What? Did someone say my name?" arousing Kennedy from a sleeplike state. "Uh, sure, I'll give it."

"Shut up Ted." Dick Durbin Says.

"I'll tell you something, Dick. The Kennedy name...."

"Boys, boys." Senator Reid says to assuage the stirring controversy.

"Ah, yes." Dean says with his eyes squinting as he fiddles with his thumbs on his lap. "Timothy Kaine." Silently he thinks, 'My only real accomplishment. I wonder how much mileage I could get out of him. The better he looks, the better I look. Hmm...that's a nice picture of dogs playing poker. I don't think I've ever....'

"Well," Senator Clinton interupts, "I'm for him." Leaning over to Senator Leahy whispering, "How do you think he would be as a running mate?"

"Would you please get your mind on your Senate career, Senator Clinton." Leahy responds causing Clinton's eyes to light up with fire.

Suddenly, Leahy spontaneously combusts causing a shocked moment of silence.

"Weeellll....Tim Kaine it is," Harry Reid says, "If that ok with you Hillary."

"Oh, sure, whatever." she responds.

And the room quickly and quietly empties.
Ok, here's the disclaimer that nothing above really happened and it's all just my imagination. But Seriously....Tim Kaine? I'm so glad I'm not a Democrat.

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