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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

In their own words: Homosexuals on Polygamy

The Advocate, a national gay magazine has recently featured a cover story on gay polygamous relationships. "Polygamy & Gay Men: Dirty laundry or sexual freedom? How gay men handle multiple partners," describes the lives of several trios of males who consider themselves married to each other (link).

The GLBT community was outraged that their leading magazine, the Advocate, would broach this issue in the same week that the Federal Marriage Amendment was voted upon. What is most interesting is their response. Many were concerned about the timing: "one thing at a time," was their argument.

What I found most interesting is that their justification for marriage defined it into nothingness. They have such disregard for marriage, that they define it into oblivion. It is like their goal is to get married only to be right, because it doesn't mean anything anyway. You decide for yourself.

I've listed some of the responses that were written to The Advocate:


We have to show that we are comitted to "traditional relationships" before we introduce something that is radical to the "ULTRA CONSERVATIVE". I do not have a problem with any relationship if it works for those involved "WHO CARES" but for the rest of the country it may be to radical for them to accept just yet .

One thing at a time. Our country progresses in very small steps....

I'm happily and legally married in Massachusettes to a great guy, and we still enjoy playing with other guys. Marriage does not mean monogamy. That is a Straight myth...

Steve LaVigne
Variations on relationships are not new. If we feel we will be embarrassed or thought of badly because of any type of relationship then it is our own insecurity. Marriage is and always has been a contract, not a lifestyle...

We have to stop thinking that the only acceptable relationship is a monogamous romantic heterosexual-style one, and that to achieve equal rights GLBT people need to conform to heteronormative rules. Poligamy, or better yet, polyamorous relationships should be recognized and protected as much as monogamous relationships. Why should we be restricted in whom to love and how? We need instead to stand united in the diversity of querr relationships and gain rights for all of us.

Matt R. (DE)
There is nothing wrong with Polyamorus relationships. However, from a strategic standpoint, I don't know that pushing for this and raising awareness of this right now is the best thing to do. We are trying to get marriage equality and I think that it's best we focus on that first. Once we have marriage equality, then we can talk about the other stuff. As a community we really need to pick our battles and focus on 1 at a time. As far as Polygamy is concerned, who you love and how many you love is not anyones decesion but your own and those of the consenting adults involved. It is possible to be intimate with multiple people and feel equally the same for them. It's been going on for generations and will continue to do so going forward and like interracial marriage and eventually gay marriage, things will change. How can we as the minority in the gay marriage situation sit and cast judgement on people within our own group?

Loraine Hutchins
LGBT folk have always loved more than one, openly and honestly, some of us, and we need to fight for ALL forms of family, not just one.

To be honest, having multiple boyfriends might be quite fun..........

Unfortunately !!! Adding polygamy to the fight for marriage equality right now would just add fuel to conservatives arsenal. Eventually it will need to be put on the table. ~Bill

I believe that bringing up the idea of polygamy may be asking for a bit much...

I support marriage rights for anyone who has a consenting adult relationship, no matter how many people are involved. We need to support all kinds of families...

I can't stand the hypocrisy of the gay community. We support gay marriage because people who love each other should be permitted to marry. Then we say that if it is 3-men or 3-women that love one another, we cannot permit that - thus we are saying we accept denying gays marriage, just because they are a 3-some. This stinks of utter hypocrisy.

An Outraged Humanitarian
On what grounds does anyone here have to deny three men (or three women) from having a legally recognized marriage?

If we don't support 3-men marrying (or 3-women), then we are denying homosexuals from marrying too.

While I am in support of both polygamy and same-sex marriage, I am afraid that as much as people disagree with same-sex marriage, they disagree with polygamy even more. Unfortunately, we have to fight for one right at a time.

Assimilation is not the way to acceptance. The only way to achieve equal footing is to acknowledge the many forms love and commitment can take- including polygamy
For more homosexuals in their own words, visit The Advocate.

Thanks for the Link: Conservative Culture, The Conservative Spread

Thoughtful Readers Speak:
Equality has never really been the goal. It has been the eliminating of thoughts and ideas which would compete with their vision of the new world value. I posted a few comments on the topic. Hat Tip to you Right Faith.
Sorry guys, I'm a conservative and I think you're trying too hard to twist words here.

Look at these statements:
Marriage does not mean monogamy.

Marriage is and always has been a contract, not a lifestyle

Poligamy, or better yet, polyamorous relationships should be recognized and protected as much as monogamous relationships.

Now tell me that those could not be uttered by a STRAIGHT, man or woman. Just because someone who was gay said them, they suddenly get chalked up in the "GAY AGENDA" column. I know straight men AND women that think Marriage does not equal manogomy, does that make it a "STRAIGHT AGENDA"?

Honestly people... I want someone to provide to me, rock solid proof that a gay man/woman getting married would RUIN your life or marriage.

Humans in the United States of America have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. By allowing gays to marry, HOW would that violate your right to any of those three?
Honestly, do you think the GLBT lobbiest are that stupid? Do you think they are not organized enough to have an agenda?

Marriage is not a fundamental right accompanying life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. For more about this, click here and here
Marriage is not a priviledge to be under control of the state, it is, for the most part a religious construct to solidify ones love and devotion to their partner into a form of "official vow of commitment". The state recognizes this as a civil union and thus grants the parties certain rights under the law as far as inheritance, taxes etc.

Telling me that simply because someone loves someone of the same sex, that they should be denied basic civil rights afforded by the state to heterosexual couples doesn't fly.

Take ANY argument against "gays" and swap it out with the word "blacks" and you would see my point. Simply because you disagree with something, does not mean that the state has a right to legislate morality.

Oh, and when I asked for proof, I didn't want links back to your opinions... as you can see, I already disagree with those.
I would still like to know how allowing gays to get married has ANY effect on YOUR life.
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